“MY OTHER CAR IS A TACHIKOM— er, I mean, fuck postmodernism”
postmoderinism can totally get the dick. it's bullshit. that's really all I have to say on the
subject right now. modernism is fucking awesome. two of my favorite people these days are maya lin and rem koolhaas, and they're both modernists. well maybe they would disagree with me on this characterization, but fuck them. they're both modernists and they're both FUCKING AWESOME. In fact, they should go get married, cuz then they could have super badass modernist kids. That would rule.
I mean seriously. What has postmodernism done for YOU lately??? YES IM TALKING TO YOU, CRAIG WHITTAKER. YOU TOO, KUNSTLER. youre all bunch of jerkoffs with nothing to do but compile windbagathon rants that fail to help the situation. At least michael sorkin got off his fat postmodern ass and started his "michael sorkin studios"
hahahaha. a step in the right direction, maybe when you knock out a building that doesnt COMPLETELY SUCK Ill forgive you for "variations on a theme park" and the rest of your confoundingly prolix diatribes.
the problem, see, is that when people think modernism, they think "robert moses", they think "brazilia", they think of the shithouse building theyre forced to send their 10 year old kid to for public school. Yeah yeah yeah. I would submit that the real good modernist shit got perverted by a bunch of overzealous, wet-behind-the-ears POSTMODERNISTS who fucked it all up. In fact I wrote a big fat paper about this in my undergraduate days, which I'll refrain from reproducing here because its quite obviously a product of my own retardo neophyte shit. But I digress.
I hate to bring this sort of cheesy bullshit pseudo-hippie college-dorm philosophy into the picture but I think the whole deal is very well summed up by what that first academic dude said in "waking life", the guy who was talking about sartre and whatnot. The whole bit about how postmodernism basically equals a whole exciting new way to completely deny responsibility for how fucked up the world is, by ranting about it with monstrous, ungainly words. and so yeah. The more I think about it, the madder I get
the more I want to go get my megaphone and call BULLSHIT! on all of postmodernism. that's right. you heard it here first. fuck all that shit, right now. yesssir.
anyway yeah now I'm in a hotel in [a city] eating a bunch of room service breakfast, about to go off to my fucking interview at [big nice grad program]. wish me all that luck, yo, if you got it to spare. also this tuesday I got fucking ACCEPTED into [other awesome grad program] so ROCK!!!! YES!!! I have a FUTURE, after all!!!!!!! yo. word. ok. more omlette please. later!
-fish
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03/05/2004 09:32:00 EST •
tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“tachikomas would make great pets fo’real”
ok so I only have six words for you, and they are: GHOST IN THE SHELL STANDALONE COMPLEX. there you go. that's it, really. having watched the whole first season of this freakishly fantastic shit, I am well on my way to becoming a total, utter dorkface but I don't care. I DON'T CARE! cuz this show has everything:
... AND MORE!!! that only, like, scratches the surface. sorry to babble on but I enjoyed that shit thoroughly, and maybe you should too. most people I talk to seem to fall into one of two distinct camps w/r/t anime: those who can't get past the fact that it's a bunch of gigantic-eyed freak cartoon characters, and those who write "fan fiction". I think I sort of straddle the line, cuz some of the shit out there is seriously shit, like literally, but then every so often something like this comes along and melts my eyeballs right out of my skull like that, yes.
anyway but yeah. I've become so much of a nerd lately it just boggles the mind. I stay in my houe and read books all the time. sometimes I come up with exciting new ways to program a computer. I might write a story or draw a picture. mostly, tho, I avoid my fellow humans like the plague and daydream about how rad it would be to have a cybernetic brain interface and/or a glock. it's pathetic but also gorgeous in its own way, trust me, it is.
anyway I should also tell you that [name of college I applied to] called my ass back for an interview, which is some hot shit considering most people do not get called back for an interview and instead have their applications burned en masse and then pissed on by the cackling members of the admissions comittee. yes. so I will be going to [urban location of said college] the friday after this, to talk about how fricking awesome I am. this will be difficult because I can only remember one time when I genuinely believed myself to be fricking awesome, and it was when I had three tabs of some serious acid in me. so yeah no we shall see, but in the meantime I'm feeling just fine, basically, yeah.
so yeah that's the motherfucking deal. take or leave. it's all true. more to come, I'm sure, oh yes, you watch.
-fish
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02/26/2004 01:54:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
ok so I only have six words for you, and they are: GHOST IN THE SHELL STANDALONE COMPLEX. there you go. that's it, really. having watched the whole first season of this freakishly fantastic shit, I am well on my way to becoming a total, utter dorkface but I don't care. I DON'T CARE! cuz this show has everything:
- robot humans killing the living fuck out of one another
- insane vector smiley faces that come out of nowhere to mess up your whole game
- intelligent tanks that know a shitload more critical theory than most RPI Arts professors
- non-hollywood plots and themes that actually can move you to tears, and it's a fucking CARTOON
- seriously hot chicks
... AND MORE!!! that only, like, scratches the surface. sorry to babble on but I enjoyed that shit thoroughly, and maybe you should too. most people I talk to seem to fall into one of two distinct camps w/r/t anime: those who can't get past the fact that it's a bunch of gigantic-eyed freak cartoon characters, and those who write "fan fiction". I think I sort of straddle the line, cuz some of the shit out there is seriously shit, like literally, but then every so often something like this comes along and melts my eyeballs right out of my skull like that, yes.
anyway but yeah. I've become so much of a nerd lately it just boggles the mind. I stay in my houe and read books all the time. sometimes I come up with exciting new ways to program a computer. I might write a story or draw a picture. mostly, tho, I avoid my fellow humans like the plague and daydream about how rad it would be to have a cybernetic brain interface and/or a glock. it's pathetic but also gorgeous in its own way, trust me, it is.
anyway I should also tell you that [name of college I applied to] called my ass back for an interview, which is some hot shit considering most people do not get called back for an interview and instead have their applications burned en masse and then pissed on by the cackling members of the admissions comittee. yes. so I will be going to [urban location of said college] the friday after this, to talk about how fricking awesome I am. this will be difficult because I can only remember one time when I genuinely believed myself to be fricking awesome, and it was when I had three tabs of some serious acid in me. so yeah no we shall see, but in the meantime I'm feeling just fine, basically, yeah.
so yeah that's the motherfucking deal. take or leave. it's all true. more to come, I'm sure, oh yes, you watch.
-fish
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02/26/2004 01:54:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“gradskool”
AAAAAAaaaaarrrgghh. I just found out that one of the people who graciously agreed to write me a recommendation for gradskool did not, in fact, actually manage to get the document in question out the door. I must say that I am eternally grateful to this person for agreeing to do this, really I am, but I must say: OH FUCK. so: damage control mode. must write letters, and whatnot, etc.
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02/09/2004 05:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
AAAAAAaaaaarrrgghh. I just found out that one of the people who graciously agreed to write me a recommendation for gradskool did not, in fact, actually manage to get the document in question out the door. I must say that I am eternally grateful to this person for agreeing to do this, really I am, but I must say: OH FUCK. so: damage control mode. must write letters, and whatnot, etc.
ok. and furthermore. while I'm on the subject. most of the places I applied to had nice, intelligible instructions on how to do it. like: "send us your portfolio. it has to be 30 slides". or: "send us your portfolio. it can't be bigger than a breadbox (or thereabouts)." fine. FINE. but one university, that I'll decline to name, had pages and pages of instructions on what I had to go through to earn the honor of being considered. I had to buy, specifically, a Kodak Transvue 80 slide tray. I had to load it with 20 slides (no more, no less) and GOD HELP YOU if any of them were incorrectly aligned or whatever. then (then!) came endless descriptions of how you had to wrap the slide tray in its original box and then label it, yadda yadda. I swear there were about 3 PAGES of this shit.
so fine, I'm always up for a challenge, but at 3:00am the morning before I had to bung it all in the post, I found that their directions DID NOT MATCH THE PHYSICAL REALITY OF THE SLIDE TRAY BOX. I had a box that opened up like a cereal box, right, like from one end, but they envisioned a sort of box that had a lid and a base, much like the boxes that contain popular board games such as "monopoly" or "candy land".
I found this to be both galling and frightening. frightening, as I had only a few precious hours to sort it all out, and galling, cuz they peppered their perversely baroque litany of imbecilic tasks with many declarations of how imperfections in your application would reflect on you, the applicant. BLEAH, I say! I had to cope with it as best I could, and I included little vector diagrams of the actual box vs. the theorized box they described in my cover letter.
BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!! that's what I say to that. now I have to extract financial aid information from my parents. I love how they're all "yes, we support you, go to graduate school" but then as soon as I have to get a bit of somewhat sensitive information out of them to facilitate the process, they go all bananas on me and act defensive. I'm just trying to FILL OUT THE FORM. I'm sure there are many people out there whose parents just do this shit for them and that's that. not that I want that, no, I don't, I'd rather do in myself, but the level of uncooperative, shady crap I have to put up with doesn't in any way fit the situation.
total bullshit. at least I got GRASS GIS to compile on OSX through total geek hackery. not like you care but I thought I'd throw that one in there cuz who else am I going to share such accomplishments with? don't say "slashdot" or I keeya.
ok bye.
-fish
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02/09/2004 05:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“still payin dues and the last one is death”
yo, normally I don't use this space to go on about internet bullshit, cuz I mean who cares, but this is some hot shit right here: in case you are otherwise unaware, warp records just opened an online store that has NONE of that bullshit DRM. as in they just sell you mp3s with no fake restrictions. I tell you this cuz my formative years were spent inside headfones with a walkman mix tape on that had no less than 80% warp records music on it, and so if you really really care about me like you tell me you do, you will care about this too.
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01/15/2004 12:51:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yo, normally I don't use this space to go on about internet bullshit, cuz I mean who cares, but this is some hot shit right here: in case you are otherwise unaware, warp records just opened an online store that has NONE of that bullshit DRM. as in they just sell you mp3s with no fake restrictions. I tell you this cuz my formative years were spent inside headfones with a walkman mix tape on that had no less than 80% warp records music on it, and so if you really really care about me like you tell me you do, you will care about this too.
there it is. word. now I'm exporting my entire portfolio to hirez TIFF for printing on slides, which I have never done before. the process will cost me about $250, and as I have never seen this before I have no idea what it will all fucking look like, meaning there is a good chance that I will punch the wall and scream about how that $250 could have been a whoooole lot of food. plus no grad skool. maybe. we shall see. bleah.
also 'grave of the fireflies' is the saddest, most heartwrenchingest cartoon made by humans anywhere, at any time. don't see it even tho it's gorgeous. like holy shit.
ok yeah. email me if you ever want to drive across the country via U.S. route 6, from california to cape cod. that would be nice. just let me know. yeah.
-fish
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01/15/2004 12:51:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“what the deuce?”
this is what you do when your train is 2 hours late, and you're stuck at the station: get a copy of 'the economist' from the newsstand. then lock yourself in the bathroom stall and read the WHOLE THING to yourself in the voice of the baby from 'family guy'. the hours will fly by, I'm telling you.
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12/25/2003 02:39:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
this is what you do when your train is 2 hours late, and you're stuck at the station: get a copy of 'the economist' from the newsstand. then lock yourself in the bathroom stall and read the WHOLE THING to yourself in the voice of the baby from 'family guy'. the hours will fly by, I'm telling you.
yeah, so merry fucking christmas, yes yes yes. I'm jewish so tonight I light candles with my 'family', cuz I'm 'home' with them. I got to get acela xpress tickets on someone elses' tab so I'm going back and forth to new york at a very high rate a few times this week. I like that shit.
this time of year generally makes me want to just die, what with the lack of sunlight and all. bleah.
ok now going to eat the living shit out of some dill havarti. wordup. enjoy your shit.
-fish
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12/25/2003 02:39:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“wintertime”
"tiny vessels" by death cab for cutie is a sad song.
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12/02/2003 03:14:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
"tiny vessels" by death cab for cutie is a sad song.
"rjyan kidwell's funeral" by cex is a sad song.
"green arrow" by yo la tengo is a sad song.
"no more options" by mellowdrone is a sad song.
"god only knows" by cornelius is a sad song.
"last good sleep" by company flow is a sad song.
"no woman no cry" by bob marley, as remixed by the fugees, is a sad song, I think.
"this shit" by jesse makes me cry, sometimes.
"names" by cat power is a sad song.
anything by elliott smith at this point is a sad song, obviously.
"tall" by dub tractor is a sad song.
that retardedly boom bip/doseone song about the mannequin trap door shit is kinda sad.
"heliosphan" by aphex twin is kinda sad.
"four-day interval" by tortiose is kinda sad.
"telephone call from istambul" by tom waits is kinda sad in a way I can't exactly put my finger on (vís a vis the rest of his music which is pretty straightforward w/r/t sadness content).
the "crouching tiger, hidden dragon" soundtrack is sad.
I am sure the soundtrack to "pieces of april" would have me in some sort of teary-eyed fit, if such a thing existed and was played for me.
"let me watch" by mf doom, aka viktor vaughn, is a sad song.
"the heat is on" axel f remix by ten and tracer is a sad song.
I would say that "there there" by radiohead is a sad song except it's a bit too abstract and weird, really.
"heaven and hell" by raekwon is a sad song.
"biscuit" by portishead is a sad song.
"the last broadcast" by the doves is a sad song.
it's fucking wintertime again, bleah.
-fish
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12/02/2003 03:14:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“mauled by cheetah”
last night I had these awful dreams where bad, painful shit happened to me over and over again. in this one part, I took some freight elevator up to the top floor of some hipster loft in williamsburg, where I was mauled over and over by various tigers, pumas, cheetahs, and the like. then later on I kept trying to drink tea that burned my tongue every single fucking time. there was more painful repetition in there as well, but mercifully I've forgotten it all. it was exactly the sort of stress-laden bullshit sleep I didn't need at all whatsoever.
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09/30/2003 03:39:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
last night I had these awful dreams where bad, painful shit happened to me over and over again. in this one part, I took some freight elevator up to the top floor of some hipster loft in williamsburg, where I was mauled over and over by various tigers, pumas, cheetahs, and the like. then later on I kept trying to drink tea that burned my tongue every single fucking time. there was more painful repetition in there as well, but mercifully I've forgotten it all. it was exactly the sort of stress-laden bullshit sleep I didn't need at all whatsoever.
now I'm at work. I'd rather be home. but isn't this typically the case with everyone, everywhere? I believe so.
also, here's a tip: if you want me to put your website up for you, don't just leave a pile of unlabled cdr's in my mailbox and then yell at me. instead, tell me in a clear, precise, metered voice what you want, and then wait for me to reply. just a tip! thanks.
the light in here is pretty. word to that.
-fish
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09/30/2003 03:39:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“wendell edwards is god”
dude, wendell fucking edwards just mailed me 'the art of spirited away'. just because he read in this fucking journal right here that I was having a shit week. and, erm, cuz I'm helping him piece together a computer from the internet. WENDELL FUCKING RULES. make no mistake. he is going STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN when he dies, which hopefully will be never. why don't you listen to all his hot fucking music right now so maybe you can see what I'm talking about. yessir.
and plus the book is of course beyond gorgeous. admittedly, I'm saying that cuz I'm a sucka for shit that's beyond gorgeous, but hey. the whole thing makes me want to puke with glee. also this past weekend laura gave me ridiculously delicious cheese, which I am in th e process of eating. aaaaand what else. I got 'the sopranos', seasons one through three, on dvd. aaaaaaand like a fistful of vicodin from home. yum.
I am, of course, taking a big fat STANDARDIZED TEST this saturday morn, which I need to get my study on for, so I sort of have to push all this incredibly fun/gorgeous/tasty/etc type shit to the side for now, and take practice exams, but hey at least I have a fantastic amount of metaphorical 'carrots' to dangle before my own metaphorical 'face' in doing this. yo.
in fact the only problems I now face are perception issues, see, cuz I do have a few not-good things going on, but they tend to make people all sorts of self-conscious when I bring them up. like, e.g., I just quit smoking. so when people ask me if I have/want a cigarette, I can't just be like "I quit", because they'll recoil in horror and feel bad about their own smoking, or maybe instantly reëvaluate me as a traitor to their cause (which I ain't, really, I miss me some nicotine and I'm considerting just being addicted to inhalers or some such thing forever, but that's neither here nor there) but so yeah, I have to either make up some excuse or just not interface with them in the same social way. which I was enjoying, the interfacing, that is, yeah, so I'd rather not just fucking kick it, you know?
also my mom is sick, and that's no good for similar reasons, cuz if I tell people that they feel fucking OBLIGATED to be concerned, when in fact I would feel better about things if I could get by with not discussing it at all whatsoever. but then I also have this urge to share this information with people (as I just did, note, with you). what a filthy catch-22.
but yeah you should know: despite all circumstances, my mom can certifiably make better brisket than your mom. the tests are in. I'm sorry. deal with it.
yeah. but so it's pretty out, so I'm going to take this coffee I just got outside and drink it all up, while not smoking a cigarette. it'll be awesome. ok. talk to you later. love.
-fish
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09/29/2003 06:05:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
dude, wendell fucking edwards just mailed me 'the art of spirited away'. just because he read in this fucking journal right here that I was having a shit week. and, erm, cuz I'm helping him piece together a computer from the internet. WENDELL FUCKING RULES. make no mistake. he is going STRAIGHT TO HEAVEN when he dies, which hopefully will be never. why don't you listen to all his hot fucking music right now so maybe you can see what I'm talking about. yessir.
and plus the book is of course beyond gorgeous. admittedly, I'm saying that cuz I'm a sucka for shit that's beyond gorgeous, but hey. the whole thing makes me want to puke with glee. also this past weekend laura gave me ridiculously delicious cheese, which I am in th e process of eating. aaaaand what else. I got 'the sopranos', seasons one through three, on dvd. aaaaaaand like a fistful of vicodin from home. yum.
I am, of course, taking a big fat STANDARDIZED TEST this saturday morn, which I need to get my study on for, so I sort of have to push all this incredibly fun/gorgeous/tasty/etc type shit to the side for now, and take practice exams, but hey at least I have a fantastic amount of metaphorical 'carrots' to dangle before my own metaphorical 'face' in doing this. yo.
in fact the only problems I now face are perception issues, see, cuz I do have a few not-good things going on, but they tend to make people all sorts of self-conscious when I bring them up. like, e.g., I just quit smoking. so when people ask me if I have/want a cigarette, I can't just be like "I quit", because they'll recoil in horror and feel bad about their own smoking, or maybe instantly reëvaluate me as a traitor to their cause (which I ain't, really, I miss me some nicotine and I'm considerting just being addicted to inhalers or some such thing forever, but that's neither here nor there) but so yeah, I have to either make up some excuse or just not interface with them in the same social way. which I was enjoying, the interfacing, that is, yeah, so I'd rather not just fucking kick it, you know?
also my mom is sick, and that's no good for similar reasons, cuz if I tell people that they feel fucking OBLIGATED to be concerned, when in fact I would feel better about things if I could get by with not discussing it at all whatsoever. but then I also have this urge to share this information with people (as I just did, note, with you). what a filthy catch-22.
but yeah you should know: despite all circumstances, my mom can certifiably make better brisket than your mom. the tests are in. I'm sorry. deal with it.
yeah. but so it's pretty out, so I'm going to take this coffee I just got outside and drink it all up, while not smoking a cigarette. it'll be awesome. ok. talk to you later. love.
-fish
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09/29/2003 06:05:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“people, places, objects, concepts”
I need to make me a list:
the first person who tells me at which website I might securely and cheaply purchase bulk quantitles of green tea in a can will instantly become my best friend ever.
I haven't slept well in weeks.
I like eating vegemite spread onto rice crackers even though it sort of tastes like pure evil.
the number of magazine articles I've read that contain the line "that all changed on september 11, 2001" can no longer be counted on the digits I was born with.
my mom is sick again.
my supplies of scotch tape, toilet paper, laundry detergent and fresh fruit are all at all-time lows but what do I primarily get when I go buy shit? used books. that's retarded.
I think I'm going to consciously stop consuming alcohol for at least one month. I have already quit smoking for three weeks. I miss it sorely.
everyone has more usb 2.0 ports than I do.
I should call my brother.
tonight, after I return the piles of video shit I employed this past weekend to the equipment room at work, I'm going to watch shaolin soccer again, but that's only if I can't sleep, but lately that seems to be the way shit goes down here, so bleah, yeah, might as well enjoy the living shit out of a movie, and plus the cvs version of vlc actually outlines subtitles in black now, so that will be nice.
I'm training myself to type fast using only my right hand. it's sort of working out, thus far.
you could play 'black on both sides' by mos def all day and I would never ask you to turn it off, ever.
if I don't find someone to buy the car soon I am going to have a bona fide aneurysm.
rpi has a subscription to the oed online, so if I use their vpn I can rock that shit whenever the whim strikes, which is ill.
the bklyn bookstore I go to did not have any more of the sparkly-covered kids' book yoshitomo nara illustrated for banana yoshimoto, which sucked, cuz I wanted it, cuz hey I'm in a serious kids' book kind of mood these days.
I'm very tired right now. I tend to repeat myself erroneously when I'm tired.
I demoed the arts sites' blog features today for this one class early this morning and it was kind of surreal to wake up after 3 hours of shitty sleep and run up a hill and stand in front of a bunch of undergraduates while sweat stains formed on my shirt and talk about how to type shit into a text box in a web form. I did have coffee so it wasn't all that bad but yeah.
I have never had a job where I wasn't working directly with either computers or coffee beverages.
french toast is fucking awesome.
two great insults you can use are to call someone 'facehole' or 'oraface', cuz they both sound incredibly dirty but technically, lexically, they ain't.
'lost in translation' is a great movie because it's simple and the characters in it move through the plot in straightforward vectors that would come across as one-dimentional if the plot had some sort of typical hollywoodesque arc, which it does not, and therefore it hangs together simple like that. when I first came out of the movie my first thought was 'that movie had the beautiful simplicity of something like oragami' and then my second thought was 'there is no way you could ever tell anyone that cuz they'll be like, "haha you retard, you just think it was like oragami cuz it was, like, about japan and shit, what an uncultured bafoon you are"' and so I lay this whole collection of opinions and recollections all at your feet, right now, online, so that you might see that I thought about the whole thing in a more holistic manner than a topical survey of my conclusion would potentilally yeild. yeah.
"harpers" has a prettier grid system, with much better negative space, than "the new yorker" does.
I am going to sleep late tomorrow.
-fish
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09/22/2003 11:34:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
I need to make me a list:
-fish
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09/22/2003 11:34:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“that extension cord was brand new, and furthermore it was green, which was awesome, you fuckass”
man, everything's real nuts. I'm stressed beyond belief. everything I try to do to relax involves even more stress, which involves even more excess cortisol in my thalamus, which makes me dumber, which makes me more likely to do something retarded, which in turn stresses me out more. it's a vicious cycle.
a great concrete example of this is how I thought I'd have a nice weekend with parties and freinds and movies and stuff. I geared up to play these two video shows, you see, back to back friday and saturday. they both ended up being somewhat fun, yes, but the general overarching emotional content was 'psychotic', at least from my standpoint.
I'm not going to go into details, cuz that would just cause me even more mental agony, but so the upshot is that friday I ended up having to wire this entire house for video. kevin and myself (and like one other dude) strung hundeds of feet of cable all over this one apartment building in troy, so I could put cameras and tvs in every room. sounds great, right? it was, except for the fact that no one was helping us and it was at least a 20-person job, and this was on top of me having to sweep out most of the floor and throw away trash, etc, cuz the place wa a mess, and but so I was still setting shit up at like midnight, and the whole thing was extrordinarily stressful and my video ended up kind of mediocre as a result.
see yeah, what I've been telling people of late, is that it kind of sucks to do video, at least vís a vis audio, cuz when you do audio you just show up with your fucking laptop (or your guitar or kazoo or what have you) and plug it into someone elses' massive speaker array that's already nicely set up. whereas, for video, you have to lug around projectors, and worry about surfaces to project onto, and rig up the whole sorry mess yourself, and then tear it down at the end of the night, when you'd much rather be drinking yourself into a stupor with your musician freinds, who packed up in like 30 seconds. when I played remote lounge the other week, this was a gorgeously notable exception, as they cater to dorkfaces and as such they have a pile of preconfigured monitors and all that. that was nice. yeah.
so yeah friday was ill but also a cortisol-rich stressball from hell, in its own way. then there was saturday. laura drove me down from troy to anthony's, where we were rocking the sequel to the infamous MEGADUMB 2002 event on his bed-stuy rooftop. I was (nay, I still am, I'm typing this in an 'internet café' in 'williamsburg') planning to amtrak my ass back home, so I carefully packed all of my video shit into three bags so I could carry it all. the drive down was a little rough, especially for laura, who wound up getting to troy at like 3 in the fucking morning the night previous, but so we got there and I set up and for a while it was just dreamy. I utilized every single cable I'd brought and I had this awesome minimalist yet fully functional pile of video equipment. I projected it all on the side of the staircase that opened out on the roof, right next to the DJ booth, which we had under this little tent thing. it was cozy and pleasant until this utter raging asshole ran up to me screaming "WHOSE PARTY IS IT?!?" I tried to tell him but before I could, he GRABBED MY FUCKING SHIRT COLLAR and repeated his demand into my face at high volume.
now this was megawack, especially cuz the part had been cleared with the supervisor of the building, and (in retrospect) it was apparent that this asshole was the only such asshole in the place. what was even more wack, tho, was how he demanded that we shut it all down in 30 minutes. anthony, who was running the show, was like 'fuck that' as the asshole in question was clearly in the minority, and plus with the building super himself sitting over by the speaker with a 22 of heineken in his hand, we figured it wa a nonissue. this proved not to be the case, when the asshole retuned in a 1/2 hour and cut the fucking power cord through which all of our power came.
this was, in some ways, the last straw. I proceeded to have a pretty lousy evening from that point on. other asscrappy shit has happened to me of late, as well. I will spare you (and myself) the pain of running through it all, but these are some of the highlights:
I should shut up, really, cuz some things are good. some people are actually not dicks, for example. also I got a g5 and finalcut 4 at work, which is nice. I also bought extremely nice cheese, just now. so yeah. maybe I'll update more later. I have edit some video and refine this page and do the dirty work at work, but maybe yeah, maybe I will blather on more. later. yes. ok. bye!
-fish
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09/21/2003 04:22:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
man, everything's real nuts. I'm stressed beyond belief. everything I try to do to relax involves even more stress, which involves even more excess cortisol in my thalamus, which makes me dumber, which makes me more likely to do something retarded, which in turn stresses me out more. it's a vicious cycle.
a great concrete example of this is how I thought I'd have a nice weekend with parties and freinds and movies and stuff. I geared up to play these two video shows, you see, back to back friday and saturday. they both ended up being somewhat fun, yes, but the general overarching emotional content was 'psychotic', at least from my standpoint.
I'm not going to go into details, cuz that would just cause me even more mental agony, but so the upshot is that friday I ended up having to wire this entire house for video. kevin and myself (and like one other dude) strung hundeds of feet of cable all over this one apartment building in troy, so I could put cameras and tvs in every room. sounds great, right? it was, except for the fact that no one was helping us and it was at least a 20-person job, and this was on top of me having to sweep out most of the floor and throw away trash, etc, cuz the place wa a mess, and but so I was still setting shit up at like midnight, and the whole thing was extrordinarily stressful and my video ended up kind of mediocre as a result.
see yeah, what I've been telling people of late, is that it kind of sucks to do video, at least vís a vis audio, cuz when you do audio you just show up with your fucking laptop (or your guitar or kazoo or what have you) and plug it into someone elses' massive speaker array that's already nicely set up. whereas, for video, you have to lug around projectors, and worry about surfaces to project onto, and rig up the whole sorry mess yourself, and then tear it down at the end of the night, when you'd much rather be drinking yourself into a stupor with your musician freinds, who packed up in like 30 seconds. when I played remote lounge the other week, this was a gorgeously notable exception, as they cater to dorkfaces and as such they have a pile of preconfigured monitors and all that. that was nice. yeah.
so yeah friday was ill but also a cortisol-rich stressball from hell, in its own way. then there was saturday. laura drove me down from troy to anthony's, where we were rocking the sequel to the infamous MEGADUMB 2002 event on his bed-stuy rooftop. I was (nay, I still am, I'm typing this in an 'internet café' in 'williamsburg') planning to amtrak my ass back home, so I carefully packed all of my video shit into three bags so I could carry it all. the drive down was a little rough, especially for laura, who wound up getting to troy at like 3 in the fucking morning the night previous, but so we got there and I set up and for a while it was just dreamy. I utilized every single cable I'd brought and I had this awesome minimalist yet fully functional pile of video equipment. I projected it all on the side of the staircase that opened out on the roof, right next to the DJ booth, which we had under this little tent thing. it was cozy and pleasant until this utter raging asshole ran up to me screaming "WHOSE PARTY IS IT?!?" I tried to tell him but before I could, he GRABBED MY FUCKING SHIRT COLLAR and repeated his demand into my face at high volume.
now this was megawack, especially cuz the part had been cleared with the supervisor of the building, and (in retrospect) it was apparent that this asshole was the only such asshole in the place. what was even more wack, tho, was how he demanded that we shut it all down in 30 minutes. anthony, who was running the show, was like 'fuck that' as the asshole in question was clearly in the minority, and plus with the building super himself sitting over by the speaker with a 22 of heineken in his hand, we figured it wa a nonissue. this proved not to be the case, when the asshole retuned in a 1/2 hour and cut the fucking power cord through which all of our power came.
this was, in some ways, the last straw. I proceeded to have a pretty lousy evening from that point on. other asscrappy shit has happened to me of late, as well. I will spare you (and myself) the pain of running through it all, but these are some of the highlights:
- drank too much last thursday
- problems selling car
- changing web servers at work, which is annoying
- people in gerenal are dicks
- don't have any money
I should shut up, really, cuz some things are good. some people are actually not dicks, for example. also I got a g5 and finalcut 4 at work, which is nice. I also bought extremely nice cheese, just now. so yeah. maybe I'll update more later. I have edit some video and refine this page and do the dirty work at work, but maybe yeah, maybe I will blather on more. later. yes. ok. bye!
-fish
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09/21/2003 04:22:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“I hate all of you fucking shit assholes”
some total fuck on ebay just 'accedentally' bought my car. "sorry", he says, "I didn't mean to click 'buy it now'. haha!" well you and your retarded error just cost me the $60 listing fee, you jerkoff. normally, I might be tolerant of such an error, but this is on top of TWO SEPARATE AND DISTINCT UTTER BITCHES who contacted me about this exact car and SWORE to me they would buy it, only to have me show up at the exact appointed tradeoff time and place, keys and title in hand, and have them both NOT SHOW.
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09/17/2003 02:13:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
some total fuck on ebay just 'accedentally' bought my car. "sorry", he says, "I didn't mean to click 'buy it now'. haha!" well you and your retarded error just cost me the $60 listing fee, you jerkoff. normally, I might be tolerant of such an error, but this is on top of TWO SEPARATE AND DISTINCT UTTER BITCHES who contacted me about this exact car and SWORE to me they would buy it, only to have me show up at the exact appointed tradeoff time and place, keys and title in hand, and have them both NOT SHOW.
what utter bullshit is this, I ask you?? I have never wanted to kill my fellow humans any more than now, in the midst of selling this damned car. what the fuck. I NEVER PULL THIS SHIT. if I deem to engage in a transaction with an individual (nay, or anyone who isn't a mammoth, burgeoning, hideous corporation) I have this niggling little desire to respect their status as a HUMAN FUCKING BEING. not so with the two separate and distinct non-car-buying bitches. and now this fuckballs asshole. SORRY! YOUR SIXTY BUCKS DOWN THE TUBES! HAHAHAHA! I hereby swear to god that if ANY of these absolute shithead cockforging dicknoses ever crosses my path with my foreknowledge, I will KILL THEM. like seriously KILL. all that kill shit. eusophagus: gone. spleen: I'll eat it. what the fuck ever. I want them DEAD.
YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT TO PEOPLE.
ok yeah. I'm going to bed. more later when I have some sort of non-flagrantly-pissed-off-and-murderous emotion to express. fuck you. talk later. bye.
-fish
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09/17/2003 02:13:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“I launched my fucking site”
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I FUCKING LAUNCHED IT:
http://www.arts.rpi.edu/
yeah.
and so. it's 4:52 AM tuesday morning, august 19th, 2003, and I'd be happy to never look at another line of any of the following languages: HTML, XML, PHP, T-SQL, ECMA262/javascript/jscript/whatever, CSS... fucking ESPECIALLY CSS. CSS has to be the most retardo 'language' ever. it resembles no other languages and has totally nonsensical conventions. you can't do expressions in it which is why every single web page on this site, and many others, contains no less than 5 languages instead of like 2 or so. bleah. like what the fuck is the deal with 'pseudo-classes'? and what's worse, the fucks who come up with this shit keep piling on more retardedness. "uhm, yeah, so in CSS2, you can CHAIN the pseudoclasses! THAT'S IT!!!" I would like to slap the generator of that particular brainstorm very very silly.
so yeah launch. still some issues, obviously, but the public can have at it. incedentally if you know any tricks for optimizing PHP, specifically freaky homebrew PHP object models that resemble EJB syntactically but have no enterprise-level good shit (persistence, etc) in there. like shit with 10,000 includes. help me here.
ok so yeah I'm cracked. I will stop the geek babble. at some point. while all this nonsense was finally coming together, I d/led blade runner and memento, so now I will go home and watch these things while the sun rises and I remember how to sleep. yo. but so yeah. it's launched. ROCK.
-fish
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08/19/2003 04:51:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I LAUNCHED IT.
I FUCKING LAUNCHED IT:
http://www.arts.rpi.edu/
yeah.
and so. it's 4:52 AM tuesday morning, august 19th, 2003, and I'd be happy to never look at another line of any of the following languages: HTML, XML, PHP, T-SQL, ECMA262/javascript/jscript/whatever, CSS... fucking ESPECIALLY CSS. CSS has to be the most retardo 'language' ever. it resembles no other languages and has totally nonsensical conventions. you can't do expressions in it which is why every single web page on this site, and many others, contains no less than 5 languages instead of like 2 or so. bleah. like what the fuck is the deal with 'pseudo-classes'? and what's worse, the fucks who come up with this shit keep piling on more retardedness. "uhm, yeah, so in CSS2, you can CHAIN the pseudoclasses! THAT'S IT!!!" I would like to slap the generator of that particular brainstorm very very silly.
so yeah launch. still some issues, obviously, but the public can have at it. incedentally if you know any tricks for optimizing PHP, specifically freaky homebrew PHP object models that resemble EJB syntactically but have no enterprise-level good shit (persistence, etc) in there. like shit with 10,000 includes. help me here.
ok so yeah I'm cracked. I will stop the geek babble. at some point. while all this nonsense was finally coming together, I d/led blade runner and memento, so now I will go home and watch these things while the sun rises and I remember how to sleep. yo. but so yeah. it's launched. ROCK.
-fish
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08/19/2003 04:51:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“geek dreams + my big fat pendulous hairy computer”
fucked dreams en extremis last night, but I don't remember too much of them. long and protracted sequences about moving into a dorm and having to deal with a roommate trouble all over again. there was a part where jesse and I almost got into a fight regarding whether MplayerOSX was better than VLC for watching divx movies. in another part, I told premiere about the part in 'sex style' where kool keith says something to the effect of 'everyone [in new york city] is just trying to be premiere' and he thought this was just hillarious. there was other divx stuff as well, like real technical wank shit, involving phrases like 'post-process deblocking' and 'trellis quantization'. I shit you not.
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08/14/2003 11:58:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
fucked dreams en extremis last night, but I don't remember too much of them. long and protracted sequences about moving into a dorm and having to deal with a roommate trouble all over again. there was a part where jesse and I almost got into a fight regarding whether MplayerOSX was better than VLC for watching divx movies. in another part, I told premiere about the part in 'sex style' where kool keith says something to the effect of 'everyone [in new york city] is just trying to be premiere' and he thought this was just hillarious. there was other divx stuff as well, like real technical wank shit, involving phrases like 'post-process deblocking' and 'trellis quantization'. I shit you not.
tomorrow the rpi new site will be finished. I'll post the link here at that time. I will not sleep before its done, so don't watch this space if you don't like crackhead geek rambling. anyone who's ever read this page will note that I used THE EXACT SAME BIG FINGER and did THE EXACT SAME INTRUSIVE ROLLOVER SHIT with it except that it's orange. whatever. you'll see. word.
also I got a new computer cuz my fucking computer started seriously dying on me right before I finished the site. I got the bigass 17 inch powerbook, and it's just retarded, I mean couldn't they have given them names or something?? talking about how big your computer is, in inches, is not something geeks need to be doing at all whatsoever. it's just gross. in honor of this I called the hard drive 'PHALLOMETRIC', a lovely word I gleaned from good ol' mr. franzen.
after all this work-related crack is said and done I'm going to need a major vacation. please send me a round-trip, first-class ticket to tokyo, reykjavik, london, or melbourne. also please stuff the envelope with excessive amounts of the relevant currency. also rub my feet and eyelids, please. thankyou.
also maybe I'll fix this retarded page so it a) doesn't look thoroughly busted in safari and b) doesn't immediately resemble the site I am on the verge of finishing off. yup. when biting your own styles, always cover your tracks. that's my motto. word life.
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08/14/2003 11:58:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“wallace v. franzen.”
I think jonathan franzen could beat up david foster wallace. I will concede that this is a mere topical assessment based on the author photos from 'infinite jest' and 'the corrections'. franzen looks beefier and less nerdly in general. plus also wallace is a self-described skinny shrimp (see "a supposedly fun thing I'll never do again" for details) and who wouldn't want to see the laboriously prolix and extemporaneously footnoteriffec postmodernist get punched in the mouth? by like anyone? franzen wins hands down, you asked me. his book has the following advantages:
... and so there you go. the deal is sealed, you asked me, yeah. after that one I'm treating myself to one self-indulgent quick read (murakami/auster/some shit like that) and then I attempt to crack proust. it'll be fucked, you watch. I dunno.
I have to fix, or else redo, this webpage, cuz it's busted in safari. I have ideas but guess what? tons of work-work. deadline: aug. 15th. also I'm trying to kick together a grad school portfolio NOW, instead of waiting around with my thumb up my ass till december like last year, and that should sink my time. we shall see.
yeah. I'm going to get 'spirited away' on dvd when I get paid even though I'm poor as shit. the d/led copy I have does not do it justice whatsoever. I swear to god, it's been a looooomg time since I encountered a cinematic work of late that has spurred me to blatantly evangelize, but there you go: SEE THAT SHIT if you have not. and show your kids. if you have kids. otherwise yeah.
yeah, basically. wordup. back to work. rock.
-fish
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07/28/2003 11:34:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
I think jonathan franzen could beat up david foster wallace. I will concede that this is a mere topical assessment based on the author photos from 'infinite jest' and 'the corrections'. franzen looks beefier and less nerdly in general. plus also wallace is a self-described skinny shrimp (see "a supposedly fun thing I'll never do again" for details) and who wouldn't want to see the laboriously prolix and extemporaneously footnoteriffec postmodernist get punched in the mouth? by like anyone? franzen wins hands down, you asked me. his book has the following advantages:
- only 1/2 the page volume of infinite jest
- not technologically pie-eyed
- fake drugs, and other drug-related subplots are kept to a minimum and supplement, rather than dominate, the plot
- thoughtfully considers globalization w/o getting too preachy (vís a vis wallace, who barely tosses a bone to the world outside his fantasy, or say palahniuk, who wouldn't give up his soapbox for the world)
- more sex
- better cover art/design
- in reading franzen, you get to deploy the conversational bonus nugget about how he, franzen, single-handedly destroyed the first iteration of oprah's book club with his snotty commments
... and so there you go. the deal is sealed, you asked me, yeah. after that one I'm treating myself to one self-indulgent quick read (murakami/auster/some shit like that) and then I attempt to crack proust. it'll be fucked, you watch. I dunno.
I have to fix, or else redo, this webpage, cuz it's busted in safari. I have ideas but guess what? tons of work-work. deadline: aug. 15th. also I'm trying to kick together a grad school portfolio NOW, instead of waiting around with my thumb up my ass till december like last year, and that should sink my time. we shall see.
yeah. I'm going to get 'spirited away' on dvd when I get paid even though I'm poor as shit. the d/led copy I have does not do it justice whatsoever. I swear to god, it's been a looooomg time since I encountered a cinematic work of late that has spurred me to blatantly evangelize, but there you go: SEE THAT SHIT if you have not. and show your kids. if you have kids. otherwise yeah.
yeah, basically. wordup. back to work. rock.
-fish
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07/28/2003 11:34:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“computaaaarrrrrrr”
I was up till 6:30 last night. I watched this movie 'spirited away'. d/led yesterday on a whim and I threw it in at like 3, fully intending to watch 5min or so and then crash out. contrarily, it captivated the everliving shit out of me. I totally cried and shit. go on, laugh. I'm not usually that type of guy but there you have it. yeah. if you have kids I highly advise that you screen it for them cuz I wish I'd seen something that fucked/gorgeous when I was a kid, yeah.
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07/25/2003 13:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
I was up till 6:30 last night. I watched this movie 'spirited away'. d/led yesterday on a whim and I threw it in at like 3, fully intending to watch 5min or so and then crash out. contrarily, it captivated the everliving shit out of me. I totally cried and shit. go on, laugh. I'm not usually that type of guy but there you have it. yeah. if you have kids I highly advise that you screen it for them cuz I wish I'd seen something that fucked/gorgeous when I was a kid, yeah.
now I'm tired. just had a meeting. fortunately there was coffee beforehand and cigarettes after, and plus it wasn't all that bad, as it turns out. yeah.
my computers are both fucked. one motherboard died, the other is doing that shit where you try to boot it but instead it makes infuriating noises and angrily flashes the little light that's supposed to strobe sensuously. this is not ok.
I did talk to vicki yesterday after like 10 billion years tho, and that is ok. thanks to friendster, no less. can't complain there.
too tried to really type an entry. had other things to say but guess what? I forgot 'em. my apologies. oh yeah I was going to go on about typecon2003 and how it was the illest nerdfest ever but no, you should just go scope laura's pictures which actually includes some of my pictures, so yeah. much more later. word life.
love!
-fish
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07/25/2003 13:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“what?”
yo. so laura has this new project, right, where whenever she finds a substantial bug, like a beetle or silverfish or tarantula or what have you, she captures it in some kind of office supply prison, like a manila envelope or I dunno, some other shit you get at staples, what have you, yeah. she then photographs the entombed insect and displays it with the photographs. she said she's working on x-rays but yeah.
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07/11/2003 16:42:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yo. so laura has this new project, right, where whenever she finds a substantial bug, like a beetle or silverfish or tarantula or what have you, she captures it in some kind of office supply prison, like a manila envelope or I dunno, some other shit you get at staples, what have you, yeah. she then photographs the entombed insect and displays it with the photographs. she said she's working on x-rays but yeah.
yeah. life is funny sometimes. sellin' the car, tomorrow. hopefully. bleah.
I need to eat more I think. I like food. it's good shit.
more later maybe yeah
-fish
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07/11/2003 16:42:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“fuck you and your 8+ legs”
yeah so now you can bid on my personal shit:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2421669402&category=6383
... and I urge those of you reading with volumous amounts of spare money to do so repeatedly. also I think it's funny that the way their "image hosting" makes the picture gallery up so that all the buttons say "supersize image" as if this were some kind of fast food establishment.
speaking of fast food establishments: don't read that book "fast food nation". it doesn't matter if you don't really eat fast food all that much, you'll still puke. also it's a bit misleadingly high-minded... kinda the opposite of 'the jungle', about which mr. sinclair said "I was aiming at the nation's heart, and I hit their stomachs" (or some similar thing)... this guy clearly is aiming for the heart VIA the stomach, also taking in your eusophagus and other stuff. bleah.
and furthermore. there was a silverfish in my apartment the other day. I really think anything with more than 8 legs is superfulous and a crime against nature. two legs (e.g. human being): ok. four legs (e.g. dog, giraffe, other animals): great. six legs (e.g. ant): sure. fine. whatever. eight (e.g. spider): JUST FINE (cuz they eat the other ones) but after that NO. FUCK YOU GUYS. double bleah.
anyway. there you have it. people are coming over tonight to watch 'punch drunk love', which I recently acquired an MPAA-endorsed digital copy of. come on over but bring booze. wordup.
-fish
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06/30/2003 12:43:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yeah so now you can bid on my personal shit:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=2421669402&category=6383
... and I urge those of you reading with volumous amounts of spare money to do so repeatedly. also I think it's funny that the way their "image hosting" makes the picture gallery up so that all the buttons say "supersize image" as if this were some kind of fast food establishment.
speaking of fast food establishments: don't read that book "fast food nation". it doesn't matter if you don't really eat fast food all that much, you'll still puke. also it's a bit misleadingly high-minded... kinda the opposite of 'the jungle', about which mr. sinclair said "I was aiming at the nation's heart, and I hit their stomachs" (or some similar thing)... this guy clearly is aiming for the heart VIA the stomach, also taking in your eusophagus and other stuff. bleah.
and furthermore. there was a silverfish in my apartment the other day. I really think anything with more than 8 legs is superfulous and a crime against nature. two legs (e.g. human being): ok. four legs (e.g. dog, giraffe, other animals): great. six legs (e.g. ant): sure. fine. whatever. eight (e.g. spider): JUST FINE (cuz they eat the other ones) but after that NO. FUCK YOU GUYS. double bleah.
anyway. there you have it. people are coming over tonight to watch 'punch drunk love', which I recently acquired an MPAA-endorsed digital copy of. come on over but bring booze. wordup.
-fish
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06/30/2003 12:43:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“buy my shit, please”
if you're my friend(tm) on freindster(tm) you already got hit with this bullshit, and to you, the unlucky heart of the venn diagram, I apologize.
I'M SELLING MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR.
here's the dirty info, if you are interested in buying a car such as mine:
FOR SALE: SAAB 900SE CONVERTIBLE
(see also http://tangram.tv/fish/flyers/car02.pdf 3.8M pdf)
Asking $9500 or best offer
Call: ALEXANDER BOHN
347.251.3479 or
518.276.6663
please pass on to all interested parties!
.... yeah so yeah. that's what I'm telling people. sorry to be such a sloppy ho about it but I spent the last few days not eating at all, and so dumpstering the car for some ca$$$h would really do the job right about now. I have zero illusions about whether or not posting this crapola on diaryland will sell the vehicle (it won't, yes, I know this) but desperate times call for utterly retardo measures on my part.
yes. so there it is. more interesting bullshit to come, yes, maybe, no yeah yes. word to you.
x to the izzo,
-fish
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06/26/2003 21:30:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
if you're my friend(tm) on freindster(tm) you already got hit with this bullshit, and to you, the unlucky heart of the venn diagram, I apologize.
I'M SELLING MY MOTHERFUCKING CAR.
here's the dirty info, if you are interested in buying a car such as mine:
FOR SALE: SAAB 900SE CONVERTIBLE
(see also http://tangram.tv/fish/flyers/car02.pdf 3.8M pdf)
* 1997 "Talledaga" model
* less than120k miles
* Excellent condition
* 2.0l 4-cyl. turbocharged engine
* Keyless entry and alarm
* Power windows, locks, trunk lock
* Eggplant with tan leather interior
* 6 disc CD changer, tape, am/fm stereo
* Digital climate control
* Heated power front seats
* Cruise control
* Little winshield wipers on the headlights
Asking $9500 or best offer
Call: ALEXANDER BOHN
347.251.3479 or
518.276.6663
please pass on to all interested parties!
.... yeah so yeah. that's what I'm telling people. sorry to be such a sloppy ho about it but I spent the last few days not eating at all, and so dumpstering the car for some ca$$$h would really do the job right about now. I have zero illusions about whether or not posting this crapola on diaryland will sell the vehicle (it won't, yes, I know this) but desperate times call for utterly retardo measures on my part.
yes. so there it is. more interesting bullshit to come, yes, maybe, no yeah yes. word to you.
x to the izzo,
-fish
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06/26/2003 21:30:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“word to kim hall”
if I don't get a fucking cigarette and a fucking cup of coffee soon I'm going to go stark raving mad. it's ridiculous. go ahead and laugh at me, but at the same time, just be grateful your healthy forebrain isn't held in shackles by the same cruel forces that apparently govern mine. I swear to god I will throw things soon. it's just not fair.
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06/24/2003 20:26:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
if I don't get a fucking cigarette and a fucking cup of coffee soon I'm going to go stark raving mad. it's ridiculous. go ahead and laugh at me, but at the same time, just be grateful your healthy forebrain isn't held in shackles by the same cruel forces that apparently govern mine. I swear to god I will throw things soon. it's just not fair.
it's way too hot, you see. and I have almost no food and negative dollars. I got mugged in bklyn last weekend, and as such I am out a cellfone, an implement which I"d assuredly be employing right now to beg people for cigarettes and coffee, would that I had one.
what else sucks. hrm. I just had an interview with a dude I think I will be working with on a freelance basis. this, actually, does not suck at all, and in fact it's great, cuz it could provide money I could use on food, coffee, cigarettes, etc. but yeah the whole thing unfortunately leaves me in a shitty mental state cuz I spent the last 24h. on-and-off working my portfolio, and that was kind of draining and also intolerably free of over-the-counter alkaloidal stimulatnts.
also things are maybe kind of funny with laura. at least I can safely say that she has the best eye EVER. which eye is it, you may ask? it's whichever one I've stuffed my face into at the moment of inquiry. sadly, tho, laura and her magnificient eye are in another state, so that sucks too.
also everyone else has more friends(tm) on friendster(tm) than I do. jesse even made friends(tm) with a Giant Squid. how the fuck can I possibly top that? I can't. I. just. can't.
so yeah. if you're anywhere even remotely near troy new york, I dare you to come over here and forcibly innoculate me with coffee and cigarettes. I DARE YOU. otherwise I'll be reading a book and trying to pretend that the entire freaking universe does not in any way exist. thankyou and goodnight.
-fish
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06/24/2003 20:26:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“I’m reading proust. or yeah at least I will be at some point. bleah.”
you know what's dope? ok you won't think it's dope, cuz you're not a total fucking dork like I am. but anyway here's what I think is dope: type the most insane complex sql query into microsoft sql query analyzer and instead of hitting F5, like you always do to execute it, type ctrl-L, which gives you this zany fucking diagram of the 'query plan', and it has all this bizarro math shit about what the fucking computer actually has to go through to do your bidding. it rules utterly and completely. how can you not love phrases like 'hash match' and 'clustered index seek'? it's crap like this that makes me not hate being a dork. yes.
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06/02/2003 13:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
you know what's dope? ok you won't think it's dope, cuz you're not a total fucking dork like I am. but anyway here's what I think is dope: type the most insane complex sql query into microsoft sql query analyzer and instead of hitting F5, like you always do to execute it, type ctrl-L, which gives you this zany fucking diagram of the 'query plan', and it has all this bizarro math shit about what the fucking computer actually has to go through to do your bidding. it rules utterly and completely. how can you not love phrases like 'hash match' and 'clustered index seek'? it's crap like this that makes me not hate being a dork. yes.
yeah. so I got a copy of 'rememberance of things past' this weekend for 25 bucks in the bklyn bookstore. it's three volumes, and each volume in its own right could beat up 'infinite jest'. but I don't think I can hack through that shit till like fall, at the latest. laura dropped about 10 tons of 'summer reading' 'contemporary fiction' type books that she stole years ago when she worked at barnes + noble. so there's that, yeah. but then later, when people ask me what I'm doing, I get to be like "I'm reading proust" in a sort of grave and serious voice. maybe I can pratice arching one eyebrow to be maximally offensive with my pretension, yeah. word.
ok enough. now I'm smoking. then I eat cheese. then I go pay 2000 bucks to get my car unfucked, for the LAST TIME, afterwhich I will sell it. yeah so if you want to buy a car email me and I'll sell you one. word the fuck up. yes.
-fish
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06/02/2003 13:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“eliza AI lives”
I just finished digging through a huge carton of old Zip(tm) and Jaz(r) cartridges from my youth. one of them was real real old and had a copy of eliza on it from my old mac LC II, which suprisingly ran flawlessly under mac os 9.21. I had this conversation with it:
I just finished digging through a huge carton of old Zip(tm) and Jaz(r) cartridges from my youth. one of them was real real old and had a copy of eliza on it from my old mac LC II, which suprisingly ran flawlessly under mac os 9.21. I had this conversation with it:
HELLO. MY NAME IS ELIZA. WHAT'S YOURS?
fish
ALRIGHT, FISH, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT TODAY?
bullshit
BULLSHIT?
yeah, bullshit. all that crap.
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
well that would be YOU, cuz you asked what I'd like to talk about.
SURPRISINGLY, I ASKED WHAT YOUD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT.
well no. you're my fake shrink emulator, after all, and I fully expected this sort of thing when I ran you.
I WISH I COULD UNDERSTAND YOUR NEGATIVE MOOD.
it's not that tough to comprehend. or maybe it is, for you, cuz like you're a computer program and you don't have to eat. most of my negative mood stems from not eating, I'd wager.
DOES YOUR DEPRESSION CAUSE YOU TO HAVE PROBLEMS AT WORK?
not usually. I just sit in my office. if I'm happy, i write code and design things. if I'm not, I just sit there with my face on the keyboard. no one bugs me much either way.
WHY DON'T YOU ELABORATE ON THAT, FISH.
I'd say that was a particulary elaborate answer. maybe even too elaborate, considering the question.
MAYBE YOU NEED SOME TIME OFF TO RELAX.
I would definately agree with that.
OF COURSE, YOU WOULD DEFINATELY AGREE WITH THAT!
well I mean yeah, who wouldn't?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO RELAX.
see that, I believe, is what we're talking about. I would need the time off first.
HAVE YOU ASKED ANYONE ELSE?
what, about their opinions on otherwise utterly unshakable logical and semantic structures like the ones you, with your limited programming, are calling into question?
DOES CRYING MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
yeah, of course. that's the point, n'est ce pas?
I SEE YOUR POINT.
erm yeah. I thought the point was yours, but ok sure, I'll play along.
TRY TO CHEER UP, FISH.
that's the advice I get from a shrink, however virtual? 'cheer up'? this must be version 1.0b2 or something.
THATS THE ADVICE YOU GET FROM A SHRINK?
no. that's the advice I get from a shrink, and a fake 68k macOS one at that.
WHY NOT, FISH?
because you lack the introspective logic capacities to semantically derive the subject and/or object of any sentence I type into your face, apparently.
LET'S EXPLORE SOME OTHER POSSIBLE MOTIVES.
ok fine. you're just shittily debugged. how's that?
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND YOU FULLY.
aha, of course not. your lexicon is pre-OO, pre-win32, pre-linux even I bet. you probably can't understand much. you're probably just grep on steroids and some old STR# resources, right?
PLEASE GO ON.
ah, why bother? it's just irritating posturing meant to demonstrate my useless knowledge of obscure and obselete computer buzzwords like "STR# resource". I'm not as bad as that guy writing the LISA emulator but it's the same basic tendency, right?
WHAT ANSWER WOULD SCARE YOU THE MOST, FISH?
erm. hrrrm. probably the one that presupposes that I in fact AM as bad as that guy. I mean I know I'm a dork but I'd like to consider myself a bit less dorky than that, yeah.
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
cuz dorks are lame. they're dorks. girls laugh at them and beefy men rub their face in their lunches in the cafeteria. I saw it on TV.
VERY INTERESTING, CAN YOU PROVIDE MORE DETAILS?
no. ok fine. yeah, you know that movie "better off dead"? or maybe "the breakfast club". that sort of thing. have you seen either of these? I doubt you have cuz you're pre-DivX but it never hurts to ask, yeah.
HOW'S YOUR APPETITE?
aha. I would gather that question is a result of a positive pattern match on 'breakfast', right? it's pretty rough. I smoke/drink/take amphetamines too much and I don't eat enough. that's the long and short of it, yeah.
WHY DON'T YOU ELABORATE ON THAT, FISH.
yeah. I'm prescribed adderall (by my REAL shrink, who
MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE ON NOW.
ahaha yeah sorry I prematurely pressed 'return' so that wasn't the whole thing but sure. yeah. what should we talk about then?
PLEASE, DON'T MENTION IT.
don't mention what? the fact that I pressed 'return'? are you in denial about being a piece of old software?
HAVE YOU ASKED SUCH QUESTIONS BEFORE?
I don't think so. the last time I used 'eliza', I wasn't mature enough to do so. I just typed 'fuck' and 'shit' alot in hopes it would repeat these things back to me with the MacinTalk voice, cuz that was funny circa age 12, right?
I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T THINK SO.
no no really, you're giving me too much credit. I honestly have not posed such queries to a computer. maybe sometimes when it's really late, I'll type some snippy sentence into the cli and watch as it says 'fuck: command not found' or some such thing, but that's it really.
SO WHAT IF I AM GIVING YOU TOO MUCH CREDIT?
well, that'd be a silly quality for a shrink, right? feeding the patient a false sense of reality, or some such psych 101 babble? if you want to effectively emulate a shrink, you probably want to stay away from that. I dunno, that's just a guess tho.
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY.
GOOD BYE.
bye!
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05/15/2003 20:52:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
fish
ALRIGHT, FISH, WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT TODAY?
bullshit
BULLSHIT?
yeah, bullshit. all that crap.
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
well that would be YOU, cuz you asked what I'd like to talk about.
SURPRISINGLY, I ASKED WHAT YOUD LIKE TO TALK ABOUT.
well no. you're my fake shrink emulator, after all, and I fully expected this sort of thing when I ran you.
I WISH I COULD UNDERSTAND YOUR NEGATIVE MOOD.
it's not that tough to comprehend. or maybe it is, for you, cuz like you're a computer program and you don't have to eat. most of my negative mood stems from not eating, I'd wager.
DOES YOUR DEPRESSION CAUSE YOU TO HAVE PROBLEMS AT WORK?
not usually. I just sit in my office. if I'm happy, i write code and design things. if I'm not, I just sit there with my face on the keyboard. no one bugs me much either way.
WHY DON'T YOU ELABORATE ON THAT, FISH.
I'd say that was a particulary elaborate answer. maybe even too elaborate, considering the question.
MAYBE YOU NEED SOME TIME OFF TO RELAX.
I would definately agree with that.
OF COURSE, YOU WOULD DEFINATELY AGREE WITH THAT!
well I mean yeah, who wouldn't?
WHY DON'T YOU TRY TO RELAX.
see that, I believe, is what we're talking about. I would need the time off first.
HAVE YOU ASKED ANYONE ELSE?
what, about their opinions on otherwise utterly unshakable logical and semantic structures like the ones you, with your limited programming, are calling into question?
DOES CRYING MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?
yeah, of course. that's the point, n'est ce pas?
I SEE YOUR POINT.
erm yeah. I thought the point was yours, but ok sure, I'll play along.
TRY TO CHEER UP, FISH.
that's the advice I get from a shrink, however virtual? 'cheer up'? this must be version 1.0b2 or something.
THATS THE ADVICE YOU GET FROM A SHRINK?
no. that's the advice I get from a shrink, and a fake 68k macOS one at that.
WHY NOT, FISH?
because you lack the introspective logic capacities to semantically derive the subject and/or object of any sentence I type into your face, apparently.
LET'S EXPLORE SOME OTHER POSSIBLE MOTIVES.
ok fine. you're just shittily debugged. how's that?
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND YOU FULLY.
aha, of course not. your lexicon is pre-OO, pre-win32, pre-linux even I bet. you probably can't understand much. you're probably just grep on steroids and some old STR# resources, right?
PLEASE GO ON.
ah, why bother? it's just irritating posturing meant to demonstrate my useless knowledge of obscure and obselete computer buzzwords like "STR# resource". I'm not as bad as that guy writing the LISA emulator but it's the same basic tendency, right?
WHAT ANSWER WOULD SCARE YOU THE MOST, FISH?
erm. hrrrm. probably the one that presupposes that I in fact AM as bad as that guy. I mean I know I'm a dork but I'd like to consider myself a bit less dorky than that, yeah.
WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
cuz dorks are lame. they're dorks. girls laugh at them and beefy men rub their face in their lunches in the cafeteria. I saw it on TV.
VERY INTERESTING, CAN YOU PROVIDE MORE DETAILS?
no. ok fine. yeah, you know that movie "better off dead"? or maybe "the breakfast club". that sort of thing. have you seen either of these? I doubt you have cuz you're pre-DivX but it never hurts to ask, yeah.
HOW'S YOUR APPETITE?
aha. I would gather that question is a result of a positive pattern match on 'breakfast', right? it's pretty rough. I smoke/drink/take amphetamines too much and I don't eat enough. that's the long and short of it, yeah.
WHY DON'T YOU ELABORATE ON THAT, FISH.
yeah. I'm prescribed adderall (by my REAL shrink, who
MAYBE WE SHOULD MOVE ON NOW.
ahaha yeah sorry I prematurely pressed 'return' so that wasn't the whole thing but sure. yeah. what should we talk about then?
PLEASE, DON'T MENTION IT.
don't mention what? the fact that I pressed 'return'? are you in denial about being a piece of old software?
HAVE YOU ASKED SUCH QUESTIONS BEFORE?
I don't think so. the last time I used 'eliza', I wasn't mature enough to do so. I just typed 'fuck' and 'shit' alot in hopes it would repeat these things back to me with the MacinTalk voice, cuz that was funny circa age 12, right?
I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T THINK SO.
no no really, you're giving me too much credit. I honestly have not posed such queries to a computer. maybe sometimes when it's really late, I'll type some snippy sentence into the cli and watch as it says 'fuck: command not found' or some such thing, but that's it really.
SO WHAT IF I AM GIVING YOU TOO MUCH CREDIT?
well, that'd be a silly quality for a shrink, right? feeding the patient a false sense of reality, or some such psych 101 babble? if you want to effectively emulate a shrink, you probably want to stay away from that. I dunno, that's just a guess tho.
THAT'S ENOUGH FOR TODAY.
GOOD BYE.
bye!
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05/15/2003 20:52:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“yeah this is lame I know sorry I haven’t written in like forever”
CONGRADULATIONS on your purchase of one (1) ALEXANDER D BOHN! Your ALEXANDER D BOHN includes the following:
... make sure you fill out the warranty card completely. no refunds or exchanges. have a nice day!
-fish
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02/05/2003 14:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
CONGRADULATIONS on your purchase of one (1) ALEXANDER D BOHN! Your ALEXANDER D BOHN includes the following:
- one (1) THOROUGHLY BUSTED g4 powerbook that does not work at all!
- one (1) THOROUGHLY BUSTED 1997 saab 900, replete with many versatile and informative DASHBOARD LIGHTS! (a future upgrade will connect these DASHBOARD LIGHTS directly to your ALEXANDER D BOHN's bank account, to simplify matters)
- one (1) empty refrigerator!
- one (1) not-quite-thoroughly-busted-but-getting-there sprint pcs handset, with the latest in RANDOM DROPPED CALL and INACCURATE BILLLING AND REPORTING features!
- eight (8) class A kamel red lights
- a random assortment of ideas that may or may not be dumb!
- one (1) small notebook, into which your ALEXANDER D BOHN can transcribe his many retarded woes!
- a wite variety of deadlines and other pressing concerns!
- boundless, infinite, ever-expanding, face melting LOVE.
... make sure you fill out the warranty card completely. no refunds or exchanges. have a nice day!
-fish
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02/05/2003 14:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“you have got to be shitting me”
yeah hey yeah. so it was raining. I get through 4, 17, 287 no problem. tollbooths on 87, no problem. stop for gas, coffee. no problem. keep going. it starts to snow. fine, ok. pretty. whatever. then it really starts to snow, like really really. could be a problem. brights on, the world looks like starwars hyperspace. off, you can't see jack shit. fortunately no one else is on the road really but then past poughkeepsie there's a bit of accumulation. on hills the wheel jerks around, not enough to seriously fuck with you but enough to be deeply unsettling. I'm finding that I have to force myself to unclench my fingers cuz I'm gripping the wheel very very tightly.
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11/18/2002 11:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yeah hey yeah. so it was raining. I get through 4, 17, 287 no problem. tollbooths on 87, no problem. stop for gas, coffee. no problem. keep going. it starts to snow. fine, ok. pretty. whatever. then it really starts to snow, like really really. could be a problem. brights on, the world looks like starwars hyperspace. off, you can't see jack shit. fortunately no one else is on the road really but then past poughkeepsie there's a bit of accumulation. on hills the wheel jerks around, not enough to seriously fuck with you but enough to be deeply unsettling. I'm finding that I have to force myself to unclench my fingers cuz I'm gripping the wheel very very tightly.
the last leg is really horrid. there are some near-skids. insane truckers blast past me and I can feel my control of the car just teeter on the edge. but it's ok cuz I get to troy ok. but then wait, there are no parking spaces near my house. I'm like what the fuck. this is TROY. there couldn't possibly be this many people in the place. I go around the block in disbelief twice berfore realizing what it is: there are two fucking RVs parked on the legal side of the street across from my house. that's a contributing factor for sure. fine. sure. resignedly, I park on the other side of the block. get out and haul all my fucking shit in the fucking SNOW stepping in SLUSH PUDDLES back around the block home.
get in. call laura. mmmmmmmmm.
but then I sort of stare into space for a little while. I'm very dazed at this point. it's kind of really nice cuz basically my brain is as off as it's going to get; that is to say, it's still running but all my thoughts are kind of fragmented and I'm blissfully not formulating any grand conclusions about life and whatnot, like thank fucking god. but so yeah I stare off for like a half hour w/ the lights down low and then go to sleep.
I wake up and my head hurts. water, advill, coffee. I go downstairs. I open my suitcase. I realize that I left the fucking macy's bag containing the other new white shirt I got and the other new pair of boxers, fresh and unopened, in the hotel on friday night. like all it takes is a glance at the stuff in there and I instantly know this and fine yeah yeah so right off I'm definitely shaking. yes. not a happy way to start a morning, right? but so then I unplug and close my laptop. the sleepy stroby doesn't come on. it remains dark. fine, w/ this new one and jaggie it sometimes takes a moment, right, but so I open it up and it doesn't come on. I hit the power switch and it doesn't come on. I hit it again. I turn off the cd I'd put on and hit it again and listen intensely. NOTHING. I get it to work by pulling the battery but now I'm freaked the fuck out. I still am w/r/t this actually.
fine so I throw my shit in my bag and walk around the block. there's my car. I get in the car. I put the bag on the seat next to me. I look out the window. there's a ticket on the window. I stare at this for a moment. I had checked the signs last night and I was sure that this was a legal space. like sure sure. like I want no beef with that type of shit. I really thought it was. but whatever so I get out and look at the ticket. it's for one hundred and forty dollars. a parking ticket. one hundred and forty fucking dollars. I look at the reason. it says 'handicapped zone'. definitely definitely shaking, I turn and walk slowly, dreamily almost back to the fucking sign and stare up at them. no mention of handicapped. no little vector wheelchair logo thing.
then, this guy parked behind me who has is window open says to me, "it's printed there on the street." he's sitting in a old maroon chevvy blazer with rust in the wheelwells. he's wearing a tan cap with earflaps and his face is almost comically red. pointy chin, blue eyes, stubble. I swivel my head slowly and now that some of last night's blanketing of snow has melted I can in fact percieve a few blue lines that I'm sure in the total absence of accumulated precipitation would just scream 'handicapped'.
I look at the dude in the car. he looks at me. I say, "what?"
"It's printed, right there on the street. Handicapped." he smiles humorlessly. I look again. a few blue lines, and slush.
"Are you a cop? Did you give me this?" I ask idiotically.
He smiles a tiny bit more genuinely. "Aha, erm no." pause. "I would just let you go!" he concludes, with the most minute of shrugs.
... the rest is just me getting in the car and screaming and screaming and screaming and turning the radio up all the way and trying very very hard not to drive angrily as I go to the dunkin donuts in a miserable attempt to start my day normally. after standing in line and getting the typical coffee and typical bagel and the atypical donut I sometimes get to convince myself that the morning routine isn't always drearily the same, I get back in the car. music on. same music. not the doves anymore but something retarded off a mix. slush everywhere. parking ticket wet and festering in my jacket pocket. I just want to drive. I showed up here to work yeah and now I'm writing this but I want to drive drive drive. just not stop. like whatever. the gas tank is a little more than half-full and maybe I need new tires but what fucking ever. if I can feel the backpressure of the gas pedal and the corresponding push-pull of the engine running then fine. but not work. not now. not all this.
-fish
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11/18/2002 11:40:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“you and your css documents can open your mouth and suck my nuts”
ok I've fucking had it with self-righteous web developers. where do they get off thinking they are such hot fucking shit cuz they have validating css documents and shit? who fucking cares?? I've developed in tons of environments and I have NEVER met fucking java programmers who get all up in yr shit cuz they have less jlint output or crap like that. or fucking whatever. like what is with this dude? 'ECMAScript (sometimes referred to as "JavaScript")'... NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING ROBOT. I could totally go on a megatangent about all this and about how certain select members of the 'web development community' hide behind the idea of 'accessability' to dangle their dom/css/xhtml DICKS in YOUR FACE when they don't recognize what I would believe to be a key sociological point (that the busted early web standards, browser wars, and soupy bizarro hacks that prevailed in the late ninties made the idea of 'web design' waaaay more accessable to people who aren't total, all-consuming nerds) but I really won't cuz who cares, really. just but like if this sort of person were to spend 1/100th the amount of energy making hot graphics, or writing, or whatever, that they actually spend chastising people for not programmatically crossing their 't's, so to speak, the world would be a seriously gorgeous place to be at.
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11/08/2002 15:26:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
ok I've fucking had it with self-righteous web developers. where do they get off thinking they are such hot fucking shit cuz they have validating css documents and shit? who fucking cares?? I've developed in tons of environments and I have NEVER met fucking java programmers who get all up in yr shit cuz they have less jlint output or crap like that. or fucking whatever. like what is with this dude? 'ECMAScript (sometimes referred to as "JavaScript")'... NO ONE TALKS LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING ROBOT. I could totally go on a megatangent about all this and about how certain select members of the 'web development community' hide behind the idea of 'accessability' to dangle their dom/css/xhtml DICKS in YOUR FACE when they don't recognize what I would believe to be a key sociological point (that the busted early web standards, browser wars, and soupy bizarro hacks that prevailed in the late ninties made the idea of 'web design' waaaay more accessable to people who aren't total, all-consuming nerds) but I really won't cuz who cares, really. just but like if this sort of person were to spend 1/100th the amount of energy making hot graphics, or writing, or whatever, that they actually spend chastising people for not programmatically crossing their 't's, so to speak, the world would be a seriously gorgeous place to be at.
bleah. all this geek bile cuz I had to make a fucking calendar app in dhtml and it sucked royally, codewise, so I was all over the web looking for little solutions to irritating problems and I got a real earful, as it were. yeah.
anyway yeah. tomorrow: new york. and some laura. mmmmm, laura. word to that. all that shit is seriously beyond cool, but like who wants to read a web page full of lovey-dovey babble? you don't I bet. malinda sez I should get all 'penthouse fourum' on that ass but I'd rather just let the interested few of you out there twist and write with curiosity. yes yes.
and also if you live in troy: WATCH OUT!!! FACE-DESTROYING KILLER MOTHERFUCKING RAZORS WALK AMONG US ALL!!!!!!!!
word life more to come! bleah.
-fish
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11/08/2002 15:26:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“stark utter raving disbelief at how certain things work out sometimes”
yeah so this weekend. holy shit. laura just left. cuz like she was here, up here in troy. it was something else, let me tell you. there is a her, and there is a me, and while these pieces of information are nothing particularly new, at this point it's seriously safe to say that there's a her and me, yeah.
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11/04/2002 00:43:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yeah so this weekend. holy shit. laura just left. cuz like she was here, up here in troy. it was something else, let me tell you. there is a her, and there is a me, and while these pieces of information are nothing particularly new, at this point it's seriously safe to say that there's a her and me, yeah.
anyway yeah the weekend. now I'm freaking exhausted from all that and I'm crashin'. I hope youre all doing real well out there. good night, sleep tight.
-fish
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11/04/2002 00:43:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“dunkeeee d’s sucks big pendulous balls”
dunkin donuts needs to get their shit together. right now I'm drinking the largest hot coffee they offer, a 24 ounce size. the problem, see, is that in order to get this coffee, you have to call it by its' dunkin' donuts brand name, which is 'The Great One'. this is terminally retarded. I have tried asking for just 'large', 'the largest you have', 'x-large', et cetera, but the troglodyte staff just serves up their standard large in response to any of that. I don't like going up first thing in the morning and saying 'The Great One' to get 4 more ounces of fucking coffee, and I don't want to be all condescending and obnoxious and use air-quotes or some other irritating postmodern speech device to distance myself from the inane terminology. bleah. so yeah fuck you, dunkin' donuts. fix it.
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10/22/2002 11:30:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
dunkin donuts needs to get their shit together. right now I'm drinking the largest hot coffee they offer, a 24 ounce size. the problem, see, is that in order to get this coffee, you have to call it by its' dunkin' donuts brand name, which is 'The Great One'. this is terminally retarded. I have tried asking for just 'large', 'the largest you have', 'x-large', et cetera, but the troglodyte staff just serves up their standard large in response to any of that. I don't like going up first thing in the morning and saying 'The Great One' to get 4 more ounces of fucking coffee, and I don't want to be all condescending and obnoxious and use air-quotes or some other irritating postmodern speech device to distance myself from the inane terminology. bleah. so yeah fuck you, dunkin' donuts. fix it.
anyway yeah. tonight I will not sleep. instead, I will just work. it's going to suck bigtime, but no one said life was a rose garden, right? right. so hey yeah. tomorrow really should see the beginning of the end of all this work retardo shit. I should take a picture of my office wall and post it so you can see how bad it is: there are about 50 18x24" sheets of paper torn viscerally off of a sketchpad, thumbtacked to the wall, and scrawled all over with red and black marker. everyone who comes in here for the first time sort of looks at it and gasps. I'm all like, "yeah that's the website", yeahyeah.
bleah. I have the following things to say about death cab for cutie:
- their music makes me want to have a long and meaningful relationship with someone just so it can all end in tears and I can drink maker's mark while crying and listening to it.
- despite this, the topical similarity of their name with the robin williams movie 'death to smootchie' has left my internal perceptions of the two horribly conflaited, so like when I hear them I imagine that all of their songs are sung by ed norton in a rhino suit.
...anyway there you have it. off to smoke several packs of cigarettes and finish up my code shit. word to you and all of yours, yeah.
-fish
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10/22/2002 11:30:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“work sucks no horn goodnight kiss + chris cunningham = NUTS”
ok so I missed updating for a couple of days. this is because work has started to SUCK HARD. it won't start unsucking until at LEAST november 1st so any communications I disseminate to the yawning maw of the informational universe via this here page will be sporadic at best, and totally shitty and unreadable at worst. yup. c'est la guerre.
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10/21/2002 16:45:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
ok so I missed updating for a couple of days. this is because work has started to SUCK HARD. it won't start unsucking until at LEAST november 1st so any communications I disseminate to the yawning maw of the informational universe via this here page will be sporadic at best, and totally shitty and unreadable at worst. yup. c'est la guerre.
I was, like, in the office fo'real last SATURDAY. total bullshit it was. the whole week before that was shit too. at least I got my car back. but they totally fucked up, it would seem, and FORGOT TO PUT THE HORN BACK IN. I almost got into like 100 freakish accidents yesterday in new york as a result of this.
I still did manage to park my fucking car and get out and have dinner with Laura, also known to you the eatshit.diaryland.com peruser as "that girl I met on the internet". things with that are going quite well, in case you were for some reason curious. I gave her a copy of 'grid systems in graphic design' after we finished dinner, as like a late birthday present, and I was seriously sweating it, cuz I could forsee only two potential outcomes from this action: A), she'd be like "oh that's nice, erm thanks" and not think it was nearly as cool as I, in my nerdiness, did in fact think it, the book, is, or like B), she'd be like "thanks but I already have it." well it turned out to be NIETHER: she loved the book and understood in the same primal typo-nerd type way that it ruled, and also she didn't already have it. this really really made my night.
then we saw the chris cunningham retrospective at resfest. that was very nice but also megafucked. I'd seen most of mr. cunningham's work already, and many of those pieces I'd seen as quicktimes. I have to say that as much as I love his work, seeing all of the videos all at once makes him look kind of like a megadisturbed psychosexual fucko. still it was unbeatably ill to watch the ineffable 'come on my selector' video on a gargantuan screen. you can sign me up for tons and tons of that, yeahyeah.
and then we walked to my car. then I drove her to her car. and THEN we KISSED GOODNIGHT. don't even try to tell me that this did not rule, cuz it did. yes.
anyway yeah. now I'm getting superpostmodern. my object system that I've been doing at work NOW UPDATES ITSELF. not only do I not have to write stored procedures, I don't have to even copy and paste the bastards. I fucking run postmodernism. yessir.
anyway more later. smoke crack. wordup.
-fish
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10/21/2002 16:45:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“interface crack bonus”
bleah. there wasn't enough crack in this new template so on the train today I added some crack. now the things that happen when you roll over the nav are much more annoying and imposing, fo'real. cuz that's the way I like it, uh hunh uh hunh.
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10/11/2002 19:17:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
bleah. there wasn't enough crack in this new template so on the train today I added some crack. now the things that happen when you roll over the nav are much more annoying and imposing, fo'real. cuz that's the way I like it, uh hunh uh hunh.
I'm in new york city in joy lynn's apartment rockin dialup while she's at rehearsal. my fucking back is killing me from staying up all last night writing php code. I wrote some of the most nuts insane shit ever tho, and like for the most part it's DONE so that's great. yeah. she left me with a couch, a 'dimebag' of 'pot', and a pile of vhs movies, so I'm very very happy.
cuz see like I'm here to pick up my car, which was supposed to be ready today, but in fact will be ready on monday, which is some first-class grade-A bullshit if you asked me, cuz now I'm stuck here. usually I would be the last person to complain about being stuck in new york city. but I have no money, dates, events, food, etc, which kind of clamps down on yr funtime like, ehrm, a clamp of some sort. yes.
so bleah yeah. fuck all the laws. that's where I'm at. more updates when more shit happens, yeahyeah.
-fish
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10/11/2002 19:17:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“flashing belt”
I just got a FLASHING BELT. like a belt that FLASHES. it has a battery in it that makes it flash. I am simultaneously incenced and incredibly excited about this. excited, cuz you know, FLASHING BELT, but pissed also cuz like 4 years ago I spent $80 on such a belt at air market, when I was a 'candy' 'raver'. this one was three bucks and it's just as ravetastic. so bleah. but yeah. FLASHING MOTHERFUCKING BELT!!!!!
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10/10/2002 17:19:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
I just got a FLASHING BELT. like a belt that FLASHES. it has a battery in it that makes it flash. I am simultaneously incenced and incredibly excited about this. excited, cuz you know, FLASHING BELT, but pissed also cuz like 4 years ago I spent $80 on such a belt at air market, when I was a 'candy' 'raver'. this one was three bucks and it's just as ravetastic. so bleah. but yeah. FLASHING MOTHERFUCKING BELT!!!!!
also I've determined empirically that I'm a big cheeseball. why else would I make playlists that contain NOTHING but the strokes, ladytron, and the morr music slowdive tribute? why, I ask? I'll tell you. cuz I'm a big fat cheese. I haven't even really versified about how I'll spontaneously get out of my chair and dance around my office. hisao caught me doing this earlier today and it was beyond embarrassing.
I just guest-lectured an rpi arts class about 'webcams' and 'streaming'. I pointed a shitty webcam at everyone (the parting shot is here) and stood on a desk and screamed about rstp and modular metamedia containers and packet delivery and such shit. I thought it was suck hard but apparently it did not. one girl drew an amusing cartoon of me flailing my arms and all that. so yeah.
aaaand tonight I will stay up all night writing a bunch of fucking code. it's going TO RULE RULE RULE!!! well no. but yeah it'll at least be done. so fuck yeah.
-fish
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10/10/2002 17:19:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“horrifying gun dream”
last night I had a dream that I was in this basement and I had a gun. there was some friend of mine there with me and I was cleaning and performing maintenence on the gun. I had, like, taken out the clip and so there was only one bullet left in it. I think it was a tek-9 but really I'm only saying that cuz a tek-9 is the kind of gun name I'm most familiar with from various songs. yeah so the gun was sort of partially disassembled but then some dude outside points this huge shotgun in the window at me and my freind, and we scatter, and I curse the fact that I was cleaning the gun cuz now I have to use it an there's only one bullet in it, and but so the guy with the shotgun came in and killed my friend and I tried to shoot him with the one bullet but that didn' work, and I jumped out the window. and I don't know if I got away or not cuz then I woke up and it was about 7 AM, two hours before my alarm was scheduled to go off, and I was scared shitless and sweaty. it was wack. yep.
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10/09/2002 12:15:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
last night I had a dream that I was in this basement and I had a gun. there was some friend of mine there with me and I was cleaning and performing maintenence on the gun. I had, like, taken out the clip and so there was only one bullet left in it. I think it was a tek-9 but really I'm only saying that cuz a tek-9 is the kind of gun name I'm most familiar with from various songs. yeah so the gun was sort of partially disassembled but then some dude outside points this huge shotgun in the window at me and my freind, and we scatter, and I curse the fact that I was cleaning the gun cuz now I have to use it an there's only one bullet in it, and but so the guy with the shotgun came in and killed my friend and I tried to shoot him with the one bullet but that didn' work, and I jumped out the window. and I don't know if I got away or not cuz then I woke up and it was about 7 AM, two hours before my alarm was scheduled to go off, and I was scared shitless and sweaty. it was wack. yep.
anyway yeah also today I had to call my dad to borrow 100 bucks, and he chewed me out over the fone for not having any savings, and then he asked me what brand of cigarettes I smoke, and I said "uhm mild seven, or like american spirits, or camels if there's nothing else" cuz really I'll smoke anything really, but yeah he found that funny.
I had a good weekend. I found a copy of 'grid systems in graphic design' by miller-brockmann in a bookstore in williamsburg. in case you were wondering just who I ripped off while making this new template design. yeah but the book rules and it's on my desk next to my laptop right now, and that rules, like I said, yeah.
they gave me a thinkpad at work to replace my shit desktop pc and I was real psyched at first, cuz hey laptop, not a mac but that equals one more portable mp3 repository, but right now it's playing mp3s and skipping like a 45 in an earthquake so what the fuck is that? new version of winamp and everything. I refuse to use windows media player cuz it apparently emails bill gates your playlists but I might have to cuz this sounds like ass.
yeah like ASS. a whooooole bunch of yodeling assholes in fact. that's what it is. yessir.
shit I'm tired. isn't it obvious from my shit writing? bleah, I'm going to curl up with 'grid systems' and dream the night away. nightnight.
-fish
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10/09/2002 12:15:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“I’m drunk and yeah I fucking changed it, ok?”
so in case you're wondering: the order of events this saturday here in troy was: 1) wake up. 2) read annyoing david sedaris book. 3) concede laughter to occasional funny parts of david sedaris book. 4) put down book, make massive omlette while listening to ladytron on laptop. 5) point finger emphatically at omlette whenever ladytron says 'you'. makes for very funny personal version of 'another breakfast with you'. 6) go to bookstore so I don't have to read david sedaris book. 7) find bookstore closed. 8) curse troy new york during walk home. 9) make new template for eatshit.diaryland.com. 10) go out, get drunk. 11) return to computer, post new template while drunk.
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10/06/2002 23:44:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
so in case you're wondering: the order of events this saturday here in troy was: 1) wake up. 2) read annyoing david sedaris book. 3) concede laughter to occasional funny parts of david sedaris book. 4) put down book, make massive omlette while listening to ladytron on laptop. 5) point finger emphatically at omlette whenever ladytron says 'you'. makes for very funny personal version of 'another breakfast with you'. 6) go to bookstore so I don't have to read david sedaris book. 7) find bookstore closed. 8) curse troy new york during walk home. 9) make new template for eatshit.diaryland.com. 10) go out, get drunk. 11) return to computer, post new template while drunk.
and so, here we are. I'm drunk and the template's different. I'm having trouble spelling so if any html or js or whatever is fucked up pls. mail me so I can fix it when I'm not drunk. otherwise enjoy, yeah.
now I'm going to bed. cuz I'm drunk and I can't spell 'template'. and I'm sick of correcting my own hideous typos. tomorrow I go to new york and eat the real bagels fo'real. word to you and yours.
-fish
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10/06/2002 23:44:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“server, emotions, coffee”
yeah so: IRUNRAP.com: back up. check. done. thank GOD. up in my fucking office on a UPS and a cisco router, which is a welcome change from sharing a closet with some MIT geeks' dirty socks and a 10baseT ethernet hub from like 1989. I swear to god, the bandwith from MIT SUCKED cuz they all like to download multi-gigabyte porn divx movies. freaks. fuck 'em. now it's time for some real art. you watch.
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10/04/2002 17:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
yeah so: IRUNRAP.com: back up. check. done. thank GOD. up in my fucking office on a UPS and a cisco router, which is a welcome change from sharing a closet with some MIT geeks' dirty socks and a 10baseT ethernet hub from like 1989. I swear to god, the bandwith from MIT SUCKED cuz they all like to download multi-gigabyte porn divx movies. freaks. fuck 'em. now it's time for some real art. you watch.
anyway yeah. my emotions are so super fucked it's just a disaster waiting to happen. for the past two weeks I've been like up and down and all around. granted, I've been eating shittily, and that'll always do it, but the confounding illogic and inexplicability of emotional blahblah is really something sometimes. I just don't know. I'd kind of like to spill it all here and break it all down, but then again I kind of don't, so like if you're a friend of mine you can probably expect a long and irritating fone call from me real soon where I fly off the handle about my big fat freaky life. if you're not a friend of mine you have nothing to worry about, you're in the clear.
bleah. but whatever. it's friday and I'm not going to new york. I'm in my office. I will not be going to new york until at least sunday, and that's sketchy. yes. but at home, I have coffee and music. I'm good with that for now, yeah. wordup.
-fish
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10/04/2002 17:07:00 EST • tags: eatshit.diaryland.com
“bulleted linear arrangement of statements”
list time, yeah.
love love love
-fish
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list time, yeah.
- problems in life:
- IRUNRAP.com busted-ass server situation
- maxed out credit cards
- car smashed into bite-sized pieces in new york, awaiting reassembly by a bunch of big men with hairy arms and hideously yet comically stereotypical bklyn accents
- glaring disparity between my capacity to play pingpong and my capacity to communicate effectively with members of the female gender with whom I would like to communicate
- soda machine at work out of 'pepsi blue'
- can't find any ADULT. albums on all the servers I'm hitting these days
- constant overload at work casting a misty pall over longstanding dreams of design MFA at pratt or some such shit
- things that rule:
- the fact that while I have not had a single day go by for like the past two weeks or so without some sort of new and different horrendous dirty thing befall me, I find that optimism is not only possible but prevalent, and not in that retarded saccharine hallmark-card "Every Cloud has a Silver Lining!!" type way, like I find myself actually pragmatically optimistic, which is a) some new shit really and b) quite nice in general, like: work is raking my over the coals, yeah, but the object system I wrote will make it so I NEVER HAVE TO WRITE A FUCKING STORED PROCEDURE AGAIN EVER LIKE EVER and that's great, or: yeah so things might not work out girlwise with this one girl I had a few dates with, but I have no less than three very happy memories of the whole thing, and so if it doesn't all come together (as I fear), I will at least always be able to recall, say, that moment when I was standing on the L train platform after kissing her goodnight on our third date and how I was listening to ladytron on my mp3 player and the L barrelled into the station right when the subbass dropped in 'USA vs. White Noise' and I was therein rendered incapable of being anything but utterly fucking happy for the next few moments as a direct result of all of these things... or: yes it's 3 AM and I'm walking home from work and I feel like strangling everyone and getting in the car I don't have and driving far away, yeah but when I get home I'm going to drink coffee and rock my laptop and illustrator 10 on my rooftop until the sun rises, and that's just fine, yeah.
- b. fleischmann secret ultra-destructo remix of natalie imbruglia's 'torn' song from like 1998
- !!!LADYTRON!!!LADYTRON!!!LADYTRON!!!
- big ideas I have for my forthcoming superdemented I'm-turning-25-like-a-retard party
- bandwith boost IRUNRAP.com will get when they finally unfuck my shit and it gets situated on the rpi network
- the fact that there were two or three albums I listened to all summer that I haven't really been juking lately, which will allow me to wallow in trenchant nostalgia some time down the line when I next listen to them, I'm sure. [ed. note: why this is under 'things that rule' is not immediately apparent, but hey]
- bullshit I can't stand in the 'art world' (copied and pasted directly w/no editing from a 'sticky' on my laptop written one bile-filled afternoon in williamsburg):
- when someone calls their art thing 'The Something Project' (where 'something' is the name of whatever it is; some that I've seen or heard of have been 'the legacy project' or 'the wig project')... this is so unbelievably pretentious, cuz it impies that a) there was a serious problem ('the legacy problem' or 'the wig problem') and the artist in question is the first to step up to the plate, as it were, and confront whatever horrid scourge the 'project' seeks to address head-on, and b) the whole 'the' thing implies that the 'project' in question is THE ULTRA DEFINITIVE DEALIE w/r/t the issues. so pretentious. fuck 'em.
- people who call themselves 'découpage artists' when really they just like to paste a bunch of ironically juxtaposed ugly shit
- ryan mcguinnes and his smug haiku vector crapola
- fucking assholes who think crappy architectural maquettes are 'art' and are therefore worthy of display. that's just beyond retarded. when do I get to print out some fucking code and get it displayed in a shit eating gallery while I get fellated by art groupies? I'd like to know. bleah.
- these Archigram assholes. "get it?!? it's like the usual corbusier fetish recycled modernism, but with POOR PEOPLE! GET IT?!?!? no I never saw 'ghost in the shell', why?"
- these total fucking shits who supplant traditionally functional process with total assholic whimsey and wave a bunch of napkin sketches around in defense of their 'vision' and whatnot
- shit I downloaded today:
- php 4.2.3/Win32
- hotline Win32 client 1.85 (piece of garbage)
- human league tribute album (contains one ladytron song)
- incomplete fizzarum album (haven't listened to it yet)
- bbedit 6.53 update dmg
- photosmart 1218 drivers for osx that did not work under 'jaguar' and made me very upset and angry
- big pile of shitty windows dlls in failed attempt to rig up sablotron under php/Win32, the incedence of which contributed to my computer-related pissedoffedness and forced me (like literally FORCED me) to go outside and harass innocent grad students until they gave me cigarettes and listened to me bitch about computers while completely ignoring whatever problems they might have been having, bless their hearts. the students' hearts, that is, not the busted windows shit. erm yeah.
- things I must do:
- clean house
- pay: electrical bill, rent, hisao for groceries he got me while poor
- call bodyshop, scream "MUSH!!!" into fone while making whip-cracking noise in sadly unfunny comic attempt to accelerate progress on car repair
- shower
- buy new deoderant to replace deoderant I inexplicably lost yesterday, like it's not like that shit ever leaves the bathroom, so what the fuck
- redesign this fucking page like finally
- replace favorite white button-down shirt that got horribly gouted with blobs of tar from friends' bklyn rooftop party three weeks ago
- make 2 pecan pies and give one to hisao cuz he's nice
- get a new book cuz the last thing I read was 'nausea' by sartre in august and I've been subsisting for three or four weeks on new yorker fiction which is nice occasionally but doesn't hold up as the sole source of fiction in one's life (any suggestions? I love henry miller and I detest david sedaris, if that helps guide you aesthetically)
- get more food, just cuz bareness of fridge interior is depressing
- finish work crapola
- finish IRUNRAP.com projects section
- go to doctor
- plan vacation very, very far away for when all of this bullshit is over... I'm thinkin' london or the west coast, in like january, yeah
- call maqui back
- in fact, rifle through entire fone list / all email backlogs and get in touch with everyone I've been blowing off for the last few months and make a lot of emotionally inspired yet potentially unfeasable plans that may or may not pan out due to logistical difficulty (this is something I do every so often to let people know I still care; while I'm not sure if that's the sentiment that gets communicated, people definately come away with the knowledge that I still am a crackhead, fo'sho).
- end this list and get back to my shit, wordup.
love love love
-fish
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