“I feel old.”
08/30/2002 22:41:53 EST •
tags: tangram.tv/rant
so yeah, I feel super fucking old. I never
thought I'd feel old. frequently I tell my
friends, some of whom are younger than I,
who tell me that they feel old to blow me. cuz
really. I'm not old. I'm 24. that's not old. that's
fucking young. so no reason for me to feel
old at all, right? I mean, I physically don't feel
old. I don't walk with a cane or take laxatives
and I can stay up and do fun shit late at night
and drink assloads of coffee and/or alcohol
without horrendous, comically exaggerated
after effects. yeah.
but you know what I miss? I'll tell you. or at
least I'll try to tell you. I miss when I was like
16 or so and I'd wake up at noon on a rainy
saturday and I'd sneak out of my house and
drink a bunch of coffee, which affected me in
a truly stunning way back then, and take the
boston subway to central square, and I'd
walk around in the rain with this sneaky
feelinging that I'd escaped, like, I'd escaped
the routine of the retardo day-to-day and I
was out of the loop, and I could do whatever
I wanted with my time.
what I actually did was do stuff like go to
used bookstores and record stores and
coffee places and try to front like I was cool
and indie and all that, basically. but that's
not the point, no, the point isn't the actual
picayune fact of what I'd do. the point is the
feeling of escaping the normal shit. I haven't
felt that way in a while, I suppose, and that
realization makes me feel all old and shit.
I sorta kinda felt cool and sneaky like that in
australia, a little bit, sometimes.
I dunno. it's just how it is sometimes.
please excuse my hideously trenchant
nostalgia. that's the order of the day tho so
there, yeah.
aiiight now I'm going to go watch movies.
that'll take my mind off of this stupid shit,
yeah. wordup.
-fish
by Darla on November 9, 2004 12:24 AM
I wish I could even feel old and remember what I did as kid that excited me so. The cops are busting up our house right now but I’ve already been served and I’m getting drunk and I’m out of smokes and obviously have no weed. Old is a word like karma (matrix reference) it’s becomes more real as you think about it. I was old when I turned 20. I’m still that age but now I feel nothing.
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